Peek Inside The Vixen's Closet

Naughty little things.

I know you're pressed up against the door,

peeping through the keyhole..

I can hear you breathing...

Mmmmm...time for a little cat stretch....

Mmmmm...time for a little cat stretch....

As I slither into a few very fetching garments,

I can't say I mind 

if you feel the need

to stare...

Mmmmm. I like this one...

Catwoman Couture.

But it's time to part with some of my things,

and make room for new.

So, now's your chance, my darling voyeurs,

to get inside my closet

and rummage to your heart's content.

I've got a few pulse-quickening numbers in my Etsy shop right now,

and you're invited, my Loves,

to join me...

Strip. Adorn. Play.

Or just watch.

Look out, Batman.

I know where you live.

Meow.

xxx Alise

You Gotta Move

Ok, it’s happening. 

You’re moving house.

I’m a great believer in “home is where you hang your hat,”

but I wasn’t always this way.

We moved around a lot when I was little, never by choice, so when I grew up I balanced a strange dichotomy: Always needing to be on the move, with a soul full of wanderlust and a heart longing for new horizons...yet, I longed for a home.

Yep, that's the one!

Yep, that's the one!

When certain winds blew in, I would pack up my things and ramble on, but the secret longing for permanence would get so intense I would fall to pieces when the actual move was imminent. 

A hurricane cured that.

Oh, I knew it was coming. It had been whispering to me for months.

And in those dream-like moments of fleeing a cottage quickly being engulfed by rushing tides, something intense occurred. 

Total detachment.

Now I experience dwellings as little scenes in a many-act play, each unfolding in its time, petite poems that comprise a beautiful, gilded book of shadows in an infinite tome...to be cherished as such. Nothing more, nothing less.

(I see it this way: "I’m never one to gather moss in other areas of my life, so why stay too long at this particular party?")

So, My Vagabond Loves,  when moving day is near, it must be reasoned: Our gypsy souls has been around way longer than any walls...

and it’s time to roll.

Still, there’s always that moment. 

You know the one. 

When your very pretty, wildly sensual living room, the one you’ve spent countless years, months. cultivating, evolving into sacred space,

Your Lair, for crying out loud, is in an instant turned into a chaotic mess.

You start out with an extensive mental plan for how it will all deconstruct, you buy bubble wrap and scour for boxes. Everything will be labeled and organized perfectly. And then you realize that you have a life, and in this packing thing you’re gonna have to shake a tail feather.

Preciousness is lost. 

It’s divide and conquer all the way, Warriors.

Here’s how we do it in style.

Clear Out Thy Crap

Be merciless. Take a grand sweep of everything. If you have time and a clear head, sell things on eBay or Etsy. Have a sale. Give gifts. DONATE. Lighten your load and create space for succulent new toys...

Strike The Show

Darlings, do NOT waste money on packing materials. Use out of season clothing, scarves, blankets to cloak your precious breakables. A winter hat, say, can house a porcelain antique. I can pack up my entire kitchen by rolling glassware and china into tablecloths, placemats, and fabric napkins, while my giant Cleopatra statue gets wrapped in a comforter, bound in twine to make her journeys. Get creative. Use coolers, suitcases, picnic baskets, whatever you’ve got, to tote stuff in.

Stay Centered

Keep a little bit of sacred space aside until your very last day. Keep your special candles, incense, a charm or talisman, a few photos maybe, on a little tray that can give you a place to whisper your prayers as the carpet, literally, is moving under you. Make sure to water your plants, play with your animals, and give yourself and anyone you share your space with some love...these are stressful moments for everyone.

Emotional Rescue

Super important: Have simple, healthy food and drink on hand. You need your physical strength, and to be prepared for emotional cravings and general weirdness.

You won’t have any time to cook, so hit the health food store and prepare to spend a little extra green to ensure a stock of tasty and satisfying nibbles that don’t require utensils.  (‘Cause you’ve already packed them, right?)  Any kind of clean, organic veggie or fruit chips are great to have on hand to crunch the hell out of when it gets freaky. Also fresh fruits, nuts, chocolate, and my personal weakness...baked goods! Take the extra time to scout out the healthiest ones you can find: gluten and sugar-free, vegan, organic. 

Do it. You'll feel good.

And you need to keep it together right now.

Mojo Bag

This is the single best tip I can give you: pack a bag of essentials for your first night, and the morning after. It sounds too simple, but trust me, this will save your ass. Gather these things way ahead of time. Keep this bag out until the last second, and tote it along with your purse.

Inside goes,

  • -sheets/pillows/blanket
  • -flameless candles
  • -lightbulbs
  • -flashlight
  • -incense/sage
  • -water
  • -food for when you wake up (you can make a quick run for coffee or tea, but you don't want to be    eating crap.)
  • animal food/bowls
  • -small  bag of beauty products
  • -change of clean clothes
  • -shower stuff/toiletries
  • a sexy nightie or robe

I want to tell you to plan a saucy first night floor picnic, whether you share your space with someone or not. But that's often unrealistic, and just another thing to orchestrate. If you can pull it off, go for it Goddess! If not, no worries whatsoever. Usually we end up on moving nights filthy (not in a good way) and completely drained. This is so where the bag comes in. You can reach for it and grab the most basic comforts, get clean, and crash into your new bed...which may be located in the middle of a hallway, like a moat surrounded by a sea of boxes...

My Loves, enjoy the crazy.  Remember you are moving into a new phase,

and that, Darlings,

is to be celebrated.

Next year's model? Dome house by  Steve Areen.

Next year's model? Dome house by Steve Areen.

And hey...decorating the new pad.

THAT'S what it’s all about, no?

xxx Alise

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Meet Me At The Penthouse

I am obsessed with vintage men's magazines.

Dig the shoes!

Dig the shoes!

When I was little, my ultimate career goal was to be a Playboy Bunny. Specifically a 1960's or 70's Bunny, like the ones I saw depicted as a child. (Other vocational possibilities included becoming a Charlie's Angel, or Wonder Woman.)

How cool is she?

How cool is she?

It all became muti-dimensional when I was very little, and my grandparents (!) once took me to the Playboy Club. I'm not sure why they thought it was a good idea to bring me there, exactly. I do recall a ginger ale with a cherry tasting seriously grown up, and...there they were: Bunnies! All dolled up in candy-colored satin, with big hair and eyelashes, and looking like glamour on fire. They made my beloved Barbies look like rubes.

But, by the time I was old enough to fill out the satin costumes, it wasn't the same. First of all, I was all out of time. My fave eras were long gone, even when I was little and dreaming. And the Playboy Club was gone. And by then I'd had a pretty good idea that those sparkling angels had to deal with their share of creeps, in the form of both customers and higher-ups.

And Bunnies had changed. Still amazing, but really so far from my dreamy girlish plans. Now there were few natural bodies, and even fewer qualities that made the ladies stand apart from one another.

Part of my love for that era was not only the glamour, but how naturally beautiful, and different the women were. Bodies had flesh, breasts were natural, and faces were unique.

I remained under the spell of days gone by. I still can't shake them.

Browsing Netflix, I discovered the most amazing show: Playboy's Penthouse, which ran on a local station in Chicago at the (cotton) tail end of the 1950's when it was the home of Hef and the magazine. This show is unbelievable! Set in a swingin' bachelor penthouse, the likes of Ella Fitzgerald and Sammy Davis, Jr. would just happen to show up at this awesome cocktail lounge party and just casually start to sing. What?! Get out!

AMAZING.

It all went down in this swoon-worthy lair.

The magic happened here between 1959-1961, then moved to L.A. and became Playboy After Dark until 1970. 

Sigh...

Many moons later, when I was first dating my fella, he remarked that I looked like a "playmate from the 70's"...I was FLOORED.  Really? Does he know? Oooh-ooh! This one's a keeper...

So in honour of my beloved Bunnies, here's a special juice cocktail just for you, my Darlings.

The Bunny Shake

  • 3 fresh organic carrots or 1 C organic unsweetened carrot juice
  • 3/4 C unsweetened almond milk
  • 1 tsp garam masala
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 pinch cloves
  • 1-2 droppers vanilla liquid stevia, or to taste
  • Pure water

Chop carrots, leaving peels on, into small-ish pieces. Add all ingredients, except water, to your high speed blender. Blend on high speed until everything gets super creamy and blended. If your blender is a little sluggish, you can either stain the mixture or use the carrot juice instead of the fresh carrots. Add water as you like to thin the consistency. Pour into your fave cocktail glasses...and, cheers!

To swingin' sex bombs, glamour, and great health!

xxx Alise

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Girl Time

Don't get me wrong, I am crazy about my man.

Absolutely crazy about him.

But there are those rare evenings,

and occasionally an afternoon,

where something wildly exciting happens.

I have the apartment all to myself. 

Girl time.

Yessss.

The door clicks closed. The lock turns.

Boots disappear down the stairs...

It usually takes a moment to sink in.

And then a little shimmy of excitement.

Remember the Sex And The City episode about "secret single behavior?"

It's kinda like that. You do things you wouldn't necessarily want your lover to see.

Nothing terrible, but possibly mildly embarrassing. 

Or at the very least, not exactly alluring.

The ritual unfolds like this: 

Post-Shimmy, I change immediately into my lounging-alone uniform, 

a velvet caftan from Morocco. 

It has many, many patterns and colors going on, and is torn in too many places to count. 

I love it.

Next, I slide my feet into my beloved Turkish slippers, which are literally falling apart at the seams.

Originally they had little pom poms at the toes and gold brocade trim, 

but over time my darling felines saw to it that they became, well…simpler.

"Say  nothing  of the slippers, got it?"

"Say nothing of the slippers, got it?"

I pile my hair on top of my head sloppily in an enormous confection, 

secured by a clip with giant teeth that I would never be seen in public wearing.

 ("A scrunnnnchyyy????," Carrie asks. No, no that bad. But almost.)

Head toward the kitchen.

A beautiful glass is selected, and it must be decided what spirit moves me. 

Literally.

A giddy glass of bubbly? A lusty, earthy, Spanish red? or perhaps a floral white, infused with fruit?

Bubbly it is.

Now for the soundtrack.

Stones…Stooges…Runaways? Gainsbourg. Hmmm…maybe some vintage burlesque…

Whatever it is, it's LOUD.

And so, the Fun Feline Free For All begins:

Try out hairdos. This includes wigs.

If there is a Season Three, I am  so  going to be Miss Fisher's evil sister...

If there is a Season Three, I am so going to be Miss Fisher's evil sister...

Forage in the closet for foxy new combinations…

She has her opinions.

She has her opinions.

I sit on the floor surrounded by treasure boxes filled with accessories that I've forgotten about, 

and play until my heart's content.

When I've exhausted this particular reverie, and am dizzy with dress-up euphoria, I leave everything in a heap. 

It's spa time.

Face masques, deep conditioners, nails and toes lacquered...

While everything dries and/or works its magic, I burrow into the fuzzy sofa for another bubbly and some light viewing.

No heavy foreign films or documentaries tonight. 

I'm in for total candy-colored confections.

I highly recommend "The Swinger," with Ann-Margaret.

Annie  knows  how to accessorize.

Annie knows how to accessorize.

Did I mention there was ice cream?

Yes, kittens.

You can whip this up in FIVE minutes.

Kitten With A Whip Ice Cream

  • 2 frozen bananas (sliced and frozen ahead of time)
  • 2 Tbsp organic cacao powder
  • 1 tsp organic vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp organic cinnamon
  • 1-2 droppers liquid stevia

Pulse it all in a food processor until it's creamy, and resembles soft serve ice cream.

It's di-vine!

You can play with this recipe. It is decidedly banana-y, so if you don't love the flavor of bananas, (which are necessary for the right texture here), use only 1, and substitute a cup of frozen fruit with a stronger flavor that pairs well with the cacao, like cherries.

My fella comes in to find me sleepy and silly. He knows I've been up to something entirely foreign to his species.

I've had SO much fun!

Thanks for playing...

Tell me, what are your fave Secret Girl-Time Rituals? 

I'm seriously loving it already.

 

xxxAlise

 

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A Lover's Bath

Anadyomene Aphrodite...

From the old Greek,

"She rises."

The goddess of love, beauty, and sexual rapture

whispered this potion to me,

many Full Moons ago...

I offer it to you, my delectable Darlings.

Gather all the ingredients. Arrange them on a gilded tray, in precious bowls. Use a pitcher for the coconut milk if you have one. Light candles. Run a very warm bath.

Add these ingredients one at a time, enchanting your wishes to her, and all she embodies.

Infuse the water with beautiful, lusty intentions.

Get ready to luxuriate in this most exquisite immersion. Your own little Sea. 

Perfect for You alone,

or to share with a Lover, 

this Ritual...

DSC_0787.jpg

Aphrodisia Bath

  • 2-3 containers of full-fat, unsweetened coconut milk
  • 1 C rosewater
  • 2 Tbsp pure vanilla 
  • 1/2 C Mediterreanean sea salt
  • 1 C hibiscus flowers
  • 12 drops rose absolute
  • 6 drops cardamom essential oil

 

Indeed, She rises.

Happy Venus' Day, my valentines.

After all, who do you think sent Cupid out in the first place?

 

xxx Alise

 

 

The Lair of Seduction

As we undulate through the week towards Venus' Day,

with a growing Moon, no less,

thoughts are naturally getting racier...

Do you feel it?

Everything starts to stir, like a balmy night on a terrace in New Orleans...

Entwined.jpg

Mmmmmm-hmmm.

Time to adorn your den. Tell me, is your place sexy?

If your answer is anything less than a lusty, voracious YES...we have some work to do.

Let's be clear about something.

This isn't your house. Or your apartment. Or your dorm room.

This is your Lair.

The resting place of the Wild Animal.

All of the senses are tickled, teased, satiated.

For You, all the time.

And for Your very special Guests.

The Lair never reveals its secrets. It will tell you its story, but never all at once.

Let's begin this racy little foreign film. Your guest arrives. You, ravishing, open the door. Slowly. Soft rhythms pulse in the background. The soundtrack.

A heady scent fills the air...beckoning...

Nag Champa and Tibetan incenses smell incredibly sexy, as do herbs and resins on charcoal burners. None of that synthetic, perfumey stuff. That's for the novice.

Nag Champa and Tibetan incenses smell incredibly sexy, as do herbs and resins on charcoal burners. None of that synthetic, perfumey stuff. That's for the novice.

Flickering lights lead the way further into the Inner Sanctum...

Candles against a mirror, A classic. Extra points for creating a floor vignette.

Candles against a mirror, A classic. Extra points for creating a floor vignette.

Now, it's all about touch...

Have you ever writhed naked on satin sheets? It is  incredibly  sensual. You must try it. Available very reasonably online.

Have you ever writhed naked on satin sheets? It is incredibly sensual. You must try it. Available very reasonably online.

Enjoy yourself, kitten? If not, boot this one out immediately. 

Screen shot 2014-02-09 at 8.31.15 PM.png

But, 

if this one's a keeper, 

wrap yourself in the top sheet, hair tousled, eyes smudged. Take your lover's hand to wander into the next scene...

A faux-fur throw makes a purrfect floor covering. Add cushions, pretty glassware, and serving vessels. All can be scoured from flea markets and online import stores.

A faux-fur throw makes a purrfect floor covering. Add cushions, pretty glassware, and serving vessels. All can be scoured from flea markets and online import stores.

Nibble. Laugh. Share stories.

Enjoy languid stillness in the wee hours together. 

Take a wander out into the sunrise.

Screen shot 2014-02-09 at 8.15.20 PM.png

 

Happy adorning, my Darlings.

Happy loving, nibbling, lounging, resting.

Make your space worthy of You.

xxx Alise

 

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